When Behram Contractor died on ' the 9th of April 2001 harbingers of doom prophesied that the Afternoon Despatch & Courier would fold up and sink without a whimper. This didn’t happen. His soul-mate Farzana gathered up the reins in her sum strong hands and carried on against all odds. There was not enough of money, the paper was not old and revered, nor part of a well-connected chain. And yet, it survived.For Farzana life is like a cross country sprint. From wielding a hockey stick, to marrying a legend who was twice her senior, to creative photography, to starting upper crust, the up-market food-wine-and-lifestyle glossy. So she's administrator, editor, writer, photographer.And yet her bio-data is a mere 10 sentences long. For the lady prefers the sunlight to the When she speaks of behram, it is not with cloying sentimentality, but with the sincerity of someone who loved and was loved.Over to farzana who w, with equine grace and head held high.

Q.What were your girlish dreams?

Ans. As number 8 in a family of 10. I was allowed allowed to grow, to do my own thing. Dad treated me like his fourth son! As a school girl I wanted to be a sports person. I represented my school in every athletic event and our team won every championship trophy.
In college I travelled hither and yon playing hockey and other tournaments, was involved in trekking, cycling, skiing, dare devilling. I graduated in psychology. And then I studied law — both of which help me in my profession. Fascinated, like many of my peers, by the glam world of flying high, I applied to Saudia Airlines, and was rejected not once, but twice. I was fazed Why not me? It was only much later that I discovered that a family friend had suppressed my application. "Farzana can do better than air-hostessing” he said.
I guess he was right.

Q.So after your action packed girlhood, what are your first moves of the day?

Ans. In the bathroom. Even before brushing my teeth. I stretch foi five minutes, touch my toes, twist 'n' turn.

Q.And you’re proud of?

Ans. My lean mean genes and a lifestyle which keeps me at 60,61 kilos at 5 ft. 6 w (i was really skinny at 48 kilos until 1995). And remember, my body is backed up with 8 to 10 hours on the sports field from the age of 8 to 24, so i'm pretty fit even without exercising as much today.

Q.Let’s hear about your fitness routine.

Ans. I go to Qi at Churchgate twice a week at any time during the day — it could be before work, during my lunch break, aft work. The only given is that I'm there for an hour. I work on the treadmill or on the elliptical walker. I'm tireless, not bored and can walk forever. I then do different stretches and floor exercises. I' m planning to hit the weight machines soon.
I walk once a week in the u.s. Club for 45 minutes, followed by art of living yoga to calm my mind.
When I'm at my two retreats at Karjat and Panchgani, I trek for two hours at a stretch, over hills and waterfalls. I'm an outdoor person, could live under a tree.

Q.But you wish that you were…

Ans. More in tune with my body.

Q.Do you have any specific problem areas?

Ans.A pain in my neck. A physical one! Could be stress or posture related. I use on mini, half-kilo cotton pillow to ease it.

Q.Diet details, please?

Ans.For starters, I have two rules, one, I only eat when I'm
Hungry. Two, I never snack between meals.
Breakfast is a mug of tea, brun pao with maska, sugar or jam, 5 almonds soaked overnight, and maybe a papaya or an orange, because I'm teaching myself to like fruit.
Lunch is cooked in the upper crust kitchen on the 2nd floor. It is rice and dal. And veggies, so lightly cooked with browned onions, crushed garlic, slit green chillies, mustard seeds, zeera or til, that you can savour the unique flavour of each vegetable — which never happens when you smother it in an anonymous brown gravy.
This is basically a childhood taste. Until I was 17 or 18, I turned my nose up at chillies and garam masala, and my mother, maimuna fed me with tiny chunks of mutton, flavoured with onion, cardamom and jeera. Her prawn pilaus were legendary.
At mid afternoon i have a cuppa chai (but never after 6 pm) with yazdani butter biscuits or rusks.
Dinner is again dal, chawal (i'm not a chapatti person) and sabzi, eaten fairly early. I've become more of a veggie recently, although I enjoy the finely ground kababs and kheema, aromatic with full spices, concocted by my doting sisters. Before going to bed, i sip some honey flavoured milk.

Q.Do you over induce at parties?

Ans.Give me a million dollars, make that two, and you won't tempt me to gorge indiscriminately at a groaning buffet table. I get put off by too much of food. I'm a fastidious eater, take small helpings and finish every scrap on my plate. I've been taught not to waste even a crust of bread.

Q.What about alcohol?

Ans.I've tried my best to drink. I started with sweet sherry, shandy and champagne. I've even tasted scotch, just once, on Khushwant Singh's insistence, and loathed it.
On a social occasion i could have a glass of white wine. Another self imposed rule — i never drink when I'm standing, so my intake doesn't actually tot up to too much.
But i do enjoy some red wine when I'm at Karjat. It teams fantastically with open air cooking, the sweet smell of growing things, and my closest friends.

Q.To what do you look back with pride?

Ans. I have the capacity to do just about anything i want. Yet nothing in my life has followed a set pattern. So
... I'm a self-taught photographer — and i know my work can speak a thousand words.
... I'm a good cook. Although I'd never even broken an egg in my life. I only got my own kitchen 6 years into my marriage and, as you know, Behram was a connoisseur of food. But i had a rich culinary heritage, and I guess I soaked up choice tit-bits about the preparation and serving of glorious food.

My mother was a fastidious cook who'd say put in garlic paste after the ginger, hing masala in a potli, use only this meat for that, always smoke your koftas. Then there's behram's french sister-in-law, who i'd watch with avid intensity. I started cooking intuitively, without a cookery book. I discovered that i could reproduce any dish that i'd eaten at a restaurant or in somebody's home. I cook with feeling — and behram loved and praised my offerings of love.
... I've run a business from scratch, a miracle which i don't think anybody else could have wrought. Being married to Behram for 16 years and 3 months steeped me into journalism, too, and I now even write for Afternoon and Upper Crust, which I never did when he was around.
... I've created a green acre called beehive in Karjat, from a brown arid patch of land. I discovered cowdung and how to grow things and now — tada — i have flowering plants, potatoes and fruit tfees.
... I've learned to give of myself.

Q.What do you treasure most?

Ans.Behram's letters to me, in his own handwriting. I've had them laminated.

Q.Do share a memory with us…

Ans. We started the Afternoon Despatch & Courier in 1985 in a tiny space in Sewri. It was covered with layers of dust and dirt, and we were due to roll in a week. I'm a hands-on person, so i decided to do-it-myself. I bundled my hair in a handkerchief, made my man Vasant hang up his shirt, and we worked with vim and vigour. We actually found fan blades Perfect fans! When we started, i was the sweeper, telephone operator, peon and general dogsbody.

Q.What did Benram find most attractive about you?

Ans. My well-toned athletic body.

How did Behram rub off on you?
I was once a hot-tempered, fiery, spontaneous, shoot-my-mouth-off type. I imbibed some of Behram's wisdom, sense of childlike wonder, calmness, simplicity and capacity to take things in your stride.
So, I'm now more mature, insightful and pause to think before i speak. I've learned to be comfortable in my skin, to trust myself.
I used to get hurt and cry easily. Behram stressed: "there are two kinds of people, givers and takers. Neither can change. Accept the other kind without feeling wounded". I do.

Q.How do you feel about good ol’ Mumbai?

Ans.I worry deeply about the growing population. It feels as though somebody has opened out a can of worms. Where are they coming from? What will happen to them? Will Mumbai burst at its seams with teeming humanity? Sadly, there is no population theory in place.

Q.Recount some of mum’s home spun wisdom?

Ans.She always said: "wake up early to get a good start." I'm not a morning person. Behram used to be up at 5 a.m. I find eight o'clock difficult. Another one of her sayings was "think of death, at least once a day". The only thing certain in life is death. Everything else can come to zero.

Q.How do you cope with singlehood?

Ans.After having led a charmed life, all of a sudden my loved ones have left me. Forever. I lost my father in 1990, my mother in 1996, my younger sister in 1999, my eldest brother and Behram on the very same day on the 9th of April 2001.1 was devastated. I'd never made decisions by myself, I'd never been alone in my life.
After Behram's death I've shunned senseless partying. I don't feel the need to be seen just because I'm a media person.
I've morphed into a loner, more detached about worldly; things. Clothes do not enthuse me as they once did. Neither do shoes (Vinod Mehta has called me the junior Imelda Marcos).
And, no, I don't think of getting married again. I've had a magnificent husband, who can't be replaced. I see Behram in everything, everywhere. He's written about every nook and cronny of Mumbai, and will always live in me in thoughts, actions and feelings. I feel that he is watching over me.

Q.What about friends?

Ans. My family and in-laws are always there for me. My support group are my school friends to whom I can pour my heart out. Of course, I do have a few society friends, mainly single women, who are "real" people.
Behram's friends indulge me, protect me, encourage me, and make me feel like a twenty-something. The tremendous love, goodwill and kindness that he inspired has been passed down to me.

Q.How do you handle your work?

Ans.I sublimate my heart, soul and energies in the Afternoon and Upper crust. I try to persevere with Behram's total dedication and discipline.
I'm in touch with every one of my staff, involved with every shoot, every page. I strive to make a difference to the lives of my employees, and they know that they can call me whenever.
I'm grateful that they've stayed with me, specially Mark Manuel and his team, who could have earned twice the salary elsewhere.
One month before he died, and five issues into "Upper Crust" Behram said: "I'm not worried about you. But, remember, always work hard."

Q.What are your leisure pleasures?

Ans. I've made a long ago dream come true. When I was little I heard someone in a boat playing the flute near the Taj Mahal, and I wished that I could do the same. On Behram's birthday last October, I got myself a couple and started taking lessons. I carry them wherever I go. The plaintive music, and the breathing in and out to produce the notes, soothes me.
Dancing is also a great stress buster. I love to dance, even by myself, with music in my head, even in the rain.

Q.What place does God play in your life?

Ans. He’ someone inside me. We communicate in a vital connection. I am grateful to him for giving me Behram.

Q.To end, let’s have a motto?

Ans.“Be yourself”.

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